The Beginning Of The End Of The Ride

Well, it is almost time for another stress filled day as court day approaches. We are now well into our 4th year of foster parenting our beautiful foster daughter A. She is now 13 and well on her way to becomming a beautiful young lady. As court day approaches every 6 months, we all hold our breaths because we all know that in the past this moment that comes twice each year always brings with it some unexpected event that often drives A. into a complete panic. You see, as with most foster children, she loves her mom more than life itself, and she would love nothing more than to be able to go home with her siblings and be a family again. But she also knows that this is not going to happen and she simply is not able to process all of her emotions in a healthy way. She has ridden this 4 year roller coaster ride with us over and over again and we all just want to get off and dismantle the ride and figure out how to dispose of it completely.

I wish I could better understand why it is taking the "powers that be" so long to terminate this mom's parental rights. She has been at that magical "24" for a year now and we keep being told that it is only a matter of time before termination papers will be filed. I wonder if anyone but foster families understand how hard it can be on a foster child to be in a state of limbo for this many years? I can't imagine being a child and hoping beyond all hope that something will happen, a miracle perhaps, that will make it possible for that child to go back to her/his biological parent, yet knowing that it will never happen. The struggle of emotions must be so impossibly overwhelming at times! Our foster daugher has told me that at times she feels like she is going crazy. I'm not in her shoes, but as her foster mom, I can understand a bit of what she means. This whole foster system, though badly needed and yet badly understaffed, seems to be a mess and I simply don't understand why the final decision can take years for some, yet last only a few months for others. When a biological parent is so consistently unable to make good decisions that would keep a child safe, and in fact her bad decisions have already resulted in one of her children being very badly hurt by a boy friend, it seems logical that termination would happen quickly so that the children could get past this horrible part of their lives as quickly as possible and get on with their new, safer lives. Especially when the children all have nice, loving, clean, safe, and nurturing foster homes where the families all want to adopt as soon as termination happens.

I guess I have no influence on the length of this roller coaster ride. I can only try to make the ups and downs as level as possible. Who knows, maybe this month will be the one that is finally the beginning of the end of the ride!