It wasn't too long ago that adoption by the foster family was discouraged. Agencies were fearful that they would lose too many good foster homes due to adoptions. They felt that if foster families began adopting the children, then they would not want to take in any more foster children, and the need for good foster homes was just to great to lose any. However, today Agencies have come to recognize the benefits of foster families adopting the children in their care when the child cannot be returned to their family. Foster families today often have resources availabe to them that will help them learn not only how to act as a support and mentor to the child's birth family, but also how to prepare themselves to be a permanent role in the child's life if adoption becomes a possibility.
Foster families are often in the best position to adopt their foster children for several reasons. A foster family who has knowledge of their foster child's unique past and has at least some knowledge of how a child who has experienced particular issues from their past can be expected to behave, is a much better prospect for being able to learn about and to handle the child's particular behavior problems.
Foster families often have become acquainted with their foster child's birth family. By getting to know the birth family, a foster family often comes to know them as human beings who make human mistakes and are often less fearful of sharing the child with them. This can make it easier for the foster family to find ways to help the child remain connected with their birth family after adoption. There are circumstances, however, when it is not in the child's best interest to remain in contact with members of their birth family. This decision should be made with the input of the child's case worker, counselors, and the child's foster family.
A child who has been removed from their birth home will usually grieve the loss of all of the familiar sights, sounds, and touches that to them meant home. When taken from their birth home they had to leave friends, schools, teachers, extracurricular activities, and even pets that were important parts of their life. When a foster family chooses to adopt their foster child, the child can feel secure that they will not have to leave what has become to them their new life with all of its familiar sights, sounds and touches that together makes up their new family.
There are certain traits and characteristics of a foster family that experts have learned can either make a foster parent adoption a success or a failure. Here are some characteristics of a foster family which will often predetermine whether or not the adoption will be successful:
*These families like to give help.
*They are satisfied with their lives.
*They are resourceful.
*They are tolerant of loss, anxiety, and ambiguity.
*They have a sense of humor.
*They are involved with the child in the community.
Experts have found that foster families that have a successful adoption often have had the child in their home for a longer period of time than foster families who choose not to adopt. Foster families who enjoyed their child and were actively involved with them were also more likely to have a successful adoption. Foster families who managed to have some acceptance of the positive attributes of the child's birth family were able to talk with the child about these attributes. This quality is also important for a successful foster adoption. Experts have also discovered that foster families who successfully adopt their foster child often percieve the child to be similar to themselves in some way.
Child welfare experts identified characteristics of foster families who did not adopt successfully:
*Unresolved losses in the past and present, resulting in a need to revisit past relationships and an inability to meet the child's needs
*Possessiveness of the child and an unwillingness to acknowledge and work with important people from the child's past
*Desperation for a child, resulting in unrealistic expectations of foster care and adoption
*High stress and anxiety levels
*Aggressiveness
*Power and control issues
A study of foster families in the early 1980s found that the foster families in the adoptions that failed were rigid and did not allow for changes easily. They might have had difficulty sharing parenting with the agency or the birth families. These families were poorly prepared for adoption and did not have open communication or an open relationship with their social worker. Some families felt coerced by their worker into agreeing to adopt the child. These families also experienced more worker turnovers than the families who were successful in their adoptions
The decision by a foster family to adopt a child in their care will be based on the unique factors associated with the child, family, and circumstances. To help with such decision-making, many States use mutual, informed decision-making in their training for foster/adoptive parents. Examples of training programs include the Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting (MAPP) (Pasztor, 1986) and Parent Resources for Information, Development, and Education (PRIDE) (Child Welfare League of America, n.d.).
Foster families who decide to pursue adoption should inform themselves as much as possible and work with their agency to ensure a smooth transition for the child and themselves. Successful foster parent adoptions are the result of a mutual decision by the foster parents and the agency about what is best for a specific child.
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