Foster Care - One Child's Personal Experience

The story below, like my previous post, is another successful foster family story that warms my heart. I often wonder how my own foster daughter feels about living with a family that is not her own. I have known her for quite a few years so I do know her pretty well, but I'm sure there are things that she feels that she does not tell me. It is very reassuring to read a story that reminds me that many children come to think of their new foster homes as happy, safe, loving homes where they feel secure. I do think that my foster daughter does recognize that she is loved and I know she feels safer in our home than she did at her birth mom's, but I also know she misses her mom terribly and is struggling with many feelings. Maybe someday she will be able to tell us that she, like the girl in the story below, has come to understand the differences between her past life with her mom and her present and future life with us and that she feels safe, happy, and loved with us.

Foster Care - In Her Own Words
This story was written by a youth currently in foster care. Her full name has not been used in order to protect her identity and maintain confidentiality.

“I don’t need any suit people pretending to by my parents” were my exact words as I arrived off the plane at the Breslau airport. As I was sitting in a bad position, not knowing exactly what to expect, the 2 suits walked up to me and told me to “butt out” my smoke and get into their car. I looked at my mom, who was with the 2 suits, expecting her to explain what was going on. Seems my mom didn’t really know what was going on either except that the suits were taking me into their custody. By custody, I mean foster care. For the very first time in my life, my mom couldn’t save me.
I have always believed that the “suits”, otherwise known as Family and Children’s Services, were only there to take away kids from good homes and separate them from their brothers and sisters. I thought they just took kids away so they could make money off of people’s taxes. I imagined that foster care would be scary and unpredictable and I was about to find out….
My first two weeks in foster care were like a nightmare. I cried every night and planned my escape. I thought I was in jail, only worse. And then one day I woke up and I wasn’t crying anymore. I began to feel more secure and comfortable and realized that my foster parents didn’t “wear suits”. I slowly began to realize that I was adjusting to my new situation and was starting to feel “ok” with the people I was with.
Now, 4 months later, I realize that I’m not in “jail” and that the “suits” were only trying to help me ( I have a great child service worker) and that my “foster family” cares about me. I know now that the “suits” weren’t trying to make any money off me and that they were just trying to help my mom and I. I have a better relationship with my mom, I’m going to school (wasn’t really doing that much before), working part-time, making new friends and experiencing new things like going to camp. I’m also starting to dream about what I can do in the future. I want to be a Class A Mechanic and the only way that I’m going to get there is by somebody “kicking me in the butt” to go to school. I don’t think any of these things would have happened if the “suits” hadn’t met me at the airport. I think my life would have taken a different turn, spiralling downhill.
I never realized how lucky I was to be put in a foster home that actually felt like a home. I know that there are kids out there that aren’t as lucky as me, and I wish there were more people who would take the time out of their lives to do society a favor and take kids into their homes. If more people would do that then maybe they would realize that the so-called “thugs, hoodlums and punks” that are on our streets are maybe just kids that need you.
Mary T. (Age 16)

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