A Couple Fills Their Family With Children And Love

Friends & Neighbors: Terry and Denise Gates

By Lara HayesDalton Daily Citizen

Chelsea Gates, 10, left, tells a story to her siblings Destiny, 13, Andy, 16, both on first row; second row, Kody, 13, Tyler, 6, and Toby, 13, and her parents Denise and Terry at their home in Varnell. None/Misty Watson

Varnell has a couple who have adopted six children. And no, their names aren’t Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.Terry and Denise Gates met on a blind date set up by a mutual friend in 1988. Denise didn’t really like him at first because he talked too much.“I’m not much of a talker,” she said.Despite her misgivings, Denise said “yes” to a second date and soon the relationship blossomed. They married in 1989 and wanted to start a family immediately. They tried for months with no success and then decided to seek medical help.“I went through so many medical tests and procedures to become pregnant,” said Denise. “Doctors could find no medical reason as to why I could never get pregnant. I prayed all the time to get pregnant and have lots of children. I know now that this wasn’t part of (God’s) plan for me to give birth to a child.”The couple began to consider adoption and discussed getting a child from another country. Denise was on her last try of in-vitro fertilization when they received a phone call in January, 1992, that would change their lives forever.“It was from a friend who knew of two young girls who were pregnant and needing someone to adopt their children because they couldn’t take care of them,” said Denise. “One didn’t work out but after four long months and many ups and downs, Andy — who is my special gift from God — was born in April.”Andy’s adoption was finalized in July, 1992.

As Andy grew, he began to beg for brothers and sisters. Denise and Terry applied for another private adoption and waited ... and waited ... and waited. After eight years they decided the only way they were going to get another child was by becoming foster parents and adopt.“Little did we know that when you become a foster parent, most of the time you don’t get just one,” said Denise. “They come in groups.”Chelsea and Destiny were the first two children they got from the Department of Family and Children Services in 2000. Their brother Kody came from a crisis center a few weeks later. The couple say that the birth parents did nothing they were supposed to do to get their children back so in July, 2003, their parental rights were terminated. The children were then available for adoption.“A decision had to be made if we were going to adopt all of them,” Denise said. “When we decided to adopt again, we were just planning on one more, not three more.”After much prayer and several signs they say were from God directing them, the Gates said yes. The adoption was final in April, 2004.The couple were also still fostering and had become foster parents to Toby and Tyler in 2003. Again, the birth parents neglected their duties and their parental rights were terminated. By that time, Terry and Denise had grown very attached to the two brothers and agreed to adopt them as well. Their adoption was final in 2006.All the children have chores and get an allowance. Homework and chores must be done before Denise arrives home from her job as an administrative assistant at Beaulieu of America. Terry Gates works as a machinist at Lockheed-Martin in Marietta but is currently home recovering from open heart surgery.

All the kids play sports which means a lot of driving all over the county. The family is also very active at their church, Salem Baptist. How do they keep everything straight?“By being very organized and planning as far ahead as possible,” said Denise. “I lay their clothes out for the week. I also have a PDA (personal data assistant) that I punch everything into.”The couple says their church has been a big help, especially recently when Terry was still in the hospital.“They made sure all the kids had a place to go,” said Terry. “And when we have dinners at the church we get the leftovers.”Many of their relatives and the children’s grandparents also help out by buying the children clothes or giving them hand-me-downs.“Financially it’s not easy,” said Denise. “It takes everything we have to do it.”Perhaps the strongest thing that has seen them through is their solid faith in God.“We do a lot of it on faith, and we’ve done a lot with God’s help,” said Terry. “Sometimes we wonder why we did it, but we have no regrets whatsoever.”

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