Only The Beginning!

I am reading a book titled "Damaged" (Thank you D.) I am not very far into it yet but I have had a lot of feelings bubble up as I read. Mainly, I am so thankful that my A. does not have the problems that the little girl in this book has. I have not even gotten to what horrible events she must have experienced in her past, but I am sure I am going to find it horrible to read about.

Besides being thankful that A. is as normal as she is, I am learning that many of the feelings that I have had, especially at the beginning of fostering, are normal. When foster kids come into a new home, they have no idea what to expect and are usually very angry. Some come to homes straight from their birth parent's home, while others, like this little girl in the story, have been through four or five homes in as many months. These kids are simply hurt, distrusting, and hateful. They are so hurt that they don't even realize that what they really want is just to be treated in the way a normal loving parent would treat their child. I admit that at the beginning, I had a hard time treating A. as if she were one of my own. Something has changed in our relationship, in a very good way, and I do know that I feel she belongs with our family.

Reading a story like this makes me want to go and throw my arms around every one of my kids and tell them how much I love them and how thankful I am that they are my kids. Even through the tough times I have loved them with every ounce of my being and I want them to know that, including A. She has come to be a wonderful part of our family and even with the problems that we face from time to time, I want her to know how much I have grown to love her.

I need to read more books like the one I am reading. I guess I feel like I have been through some type of counseling session. And since I am only a quarter of the way through this book, I have a feeling that my counseling session is only beginning!